Anger Warning Signs

Anger Warning Signs

In hindsight, there are several things you could've ignored. But, still, for whatever reason, you couldn't, like when your friend owed you one hundred dollars, and the deadline to repay the loan passed. Yet you both are at the mall, and he is paying cash for a two-hundred-dollar pair of sneakers. Or when you were angry and the person you were mad at asked, "What do you want me to do?" But you knew the person was patronizing.

Anger is not necessarily a negative emotion. Sometimes, it's justified if you feel your safety is compromised or someone is trying to take advantage of you. Some would argue that it's poor self-regulation when you express your anger. Anger has to be viewed in the context in which it occurred. What provoked your anger and underlying emotions (shame, guilt, fear, disgust, sadness)?

But who gets to determine what a reasonable response to an anger-provoking situation is?

You probably contemplated and employed a measured response, but the other person ignored you. As a result, you can choose how you respond or react to the anger-provoking situation. Your awareness of the triggers and warning signs for your anger is equally crucial. Once you discover your triggers and warning signs, you can exercise your choice in responding.

Your anger was triggered after seeing your friend who owed you money spent cash on a pair of sneakers. Your warning signs before getting frustrated may fall into one of four categories, also called cues to anger. The four categories are:

Behavioral Cues

• Pacing back and forth
• Sighing loudly
• muffled growl
• Breaking valuables
• Raising your voice (angry tone)
• Clenching your fists
• Slamming doors
• Yelling and screaming

Cognitive Cues

• Hostile self-talk
• Thinking of revenge
• Thoughts of perpetrating violent acts
• Images of aggression
• Thoughts of getting and using a weapon
• ruminating about the angry-provoking situation

Emotional Cues

• Fear
• Being taken for granted
• Feeling threatened
• Embarrassment
• Defensiveness
• Jealousy
• Disrespect
• Shame
• Guilt

Physical Cues

• Increased heart rate
• Shaking from a rush of adrenaline
• Sweating
• Tightness in the chest
• Feeling hot or flushed

Which one of the cue categories do you experience that signals you are getting angry? Although the anger cues are not experienced in any order, you may primarily experience warning signs from one category. On the other hand, you may experience warning signs from all categories.

After an episode of anger, there is the opportunity to take inventory:

• Describe the anger-provoking situation based on facts and not feelings.
• What did you say to the other person?
• What was the person's response?
• What were your thoughts?
• What did you do as your anger was escalating?
• What were/are your feelings about what transpired?
• What could you have done differently?

Anger and what to do about it may seem contradictory to us, and it may be foolhardy to argue against that point. However, suppressing anger is unhealthy, and wantonly expressing anger is harmful.

The contents of this blog post are not prescriptive. The intent is to share information.

Empowering Minds. Inspiring Lives.

Reference

Potter-Efron, R. (2001). Stop the anger now. A workbook for the prevention, containment, and resolution of anger. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Reilly P. M., & Shopshire M. S. (2002). Anger management for substance abuse and mental health clients: A Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Manual. DHHS Pub. No. (SMA) 02-3661.